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最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 07:14
最終更新日 : 2012/01/30 (Mon) 07:14
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Once you\'ve written TBicycle, you never forget how.
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel.
The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, but wiser people so full of doubts.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain.
Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
I\'m living so far beyond my income that we may almost be said to be living apart.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
It\'s impossible to experience one\'s death objectively and still carry a tune.
Louis Pasteur\'s theory of germs is ridiculous fiction.
Premature optimization is the root of all evil.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names.
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I am not young enough to know everything.
There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
And God said, \'Let there be light\' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
Emulate your heros, but don\'t carry it too far. Especially if they are dead.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Future historians will be able to study at the Jimmy Carter Library, the Gerald Ford Library, the Ronald Reagan Library, and the Bill Clinton Adult Bookstore.
I do not fear computers. I fear the lack of them.
Real life is that big, high-res, high-color screen saver behind all the windows.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
We totally deny the allegations, and we are trying to identify the allegators.
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They have computers, and they may have other weapons of mass destruction.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
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The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It\'s the transition that\'s troublesome.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
I am not young enough to know everything.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
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The perfect computer has been developed. You just feed in your problems and they never come out again.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
It was the experience of mystery -- even if mixed with fear -- that engendered religion.
You got to be careful if you don\'t know where you\'re going, because you might not get there.
Deliver yesterday, code today, think tomorrow.
Only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government.
Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.
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Yes, I\'m fat, but you\'re ugly and I can go on a diet.
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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Well-timed silence hath more eloquence than speech.
Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg.
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We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
... one of the main causes of the fall of the Roman Empire was that, lacking zero, they had no way to indicate successful termination of their C programs.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
C combines all the power of assembly language with the ease of use of assembly language
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
The power of accurate observation is frequently called cynicism by those who don\'t have it.
Men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all the other alternatives.
We are not retreating - we are advancing in another Direction.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A man\'s only as old as the woman he feels.
Once you eliminate the impossible, whatever remains, no matter how improbable, must be the truth.
A lie gets halfway around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Imitation is the sincerest form of television.
It is better to be quotable than to be honest.
Ask people why they have deer heads on their walls and they tell you it\'s because they\'re such beautiful animals. I think my wife is beautiful, but I only have photographs of her on the wall.
The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn better than a \'C\', the idea must be feasible.
One doesn\'t have a sense of humor. It has you.
I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car...
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
It is better to be feared than loved, if you cannot be both.
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The President has kept all of the promises he intended to keep.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
Democracy is where you can say what you think even if you don\'t think.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
I have an existential map; it has \'you are here\' written all over it.
The purpose of computing is not numbers but insight.
No one can earn a million dollars honestly.
I don\'t care to belong to a club that accepts people like me as members.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book - I\'ll waste no time reading it.
You can get more with a kind word and a gun than you can with a kind word alone.
We\'re going to turn this team around 360 degrees.
We should leave our minds open, but not so open that our brains fall out.
A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths is a statistic.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
Being on the tightrope is living; everything else is waiting.
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
Anything that is too stupid to be spoken is sung.
The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
My opinions might have changed, but not the fact that I am right.
A model is done when nothing else can be taken out.
The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
You ask me if I keep a notebook to record my great ideas. I\'ve only ever had one.
Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
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A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
There are two ways of constructing a software design; one way is to make it so simple that there are obviously no deficiencies, and the other way is to make it so complicated that there are no obvious deficiencies. The first method is far more difficult.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
If everything seems under control, you\'re just not going fast enough.
In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
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Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.
Don\'t drive me crazy -- it\'s within walking distance.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
I have yet to meet a C compiler that is more friendly and easier to use than eating soup with a knife.
If quantum physics doesn\'t confuse you then you don\'t understand it.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I have six locks on my door, all in a row. When I go out, I lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three of them.
One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one\'s work is terribly important.
> > > Goodbye to all! Thanks for years of great fun and good > > > business! > > Suicide or MS C++? > Is there a difference? Suicide hurts only once...
I\'ve just learned about his illness. Let\'s hope it\'s nothing trivial.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
A woman is an occasional pleasure but a cigar is always a smoke.
Learning is what most adults will do for a living in the 21st century.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
The shepherd always tries to persuade the sheep that their interests and his own are the same.
The problem with people who have no vices is that generally you can be pretty sure they\'re going to have some pretty annoying virtues.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Silence is argument carried out by other means.
Everywhere I go I\'m asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don\'t stifle enough of them.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Java, the best argument for Smalltalk since C++.
Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
Far too many development shops are run by fools who succeed despite their many failings.
There are people in the world so hungry, that God cannot appear to them except in the form of bread.
When I die I\'m going to leave my body to science fiction.
The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Our government has kept us in a perpetual state of fear - kept us in a continuous stampede of patriotic fervor - with the cry of grave national emergency.
Sailors ought never to go to church. They ought to go to hell, where it is much more comfortable.
Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?
The trouble with the Internet is that it\'s replacing masturbation as a leisure activity.
Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
About the use of language: it is impossible to sharpen a pencil with a blunt axe. It is equally vain to try to do it with ten blunt axes instead.
The use of anthropomorphic terminology when dealing with computing systems is a symptom of professional immaturity.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
I could not possibly fail to disagree with you less.
A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
Anyone who considers arithmetical methods of producing random digits is, of course, in a state of sin.
Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.
We must all hear the universal call to like your neighbor like you like to be liked yourself.
Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
Incrementing C by 1 is not enough to make a good object-oriented language.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
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It is now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Pray, v.: To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled on behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
But at my back I always hear Time\'s winged chariot hurrying near.
Never test for an error condition you don\'t know how to handle.
Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
When you hear hoofbeats, think of horses, not zebras.
The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
I have made this letter longer than usual because I lack the time to make it shorter.
I don\'t believe in the after life, although I am bringing a change of underwear.
Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can\'t remember what they are.
Computer Science is no more about computers than astronomy is about telescopes
If it wasn\'t for muscle spasms, I wouldn\'t get any exercise at all.
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
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I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy next to me.
The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense.
Inanimate objects can be classified scientifically into three major categories; those that don\'t work, those that break down and those that get lost.
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I\'ve always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
Your Highness, I have no need of this hypothesis.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
Because I do it with one small ship, I am called a terrorist. You do it with a whole fleet and are called an emperor.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
I\'m fed up to the ears with old men dreaming up wars for young men to die in.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Many a man\'s reputation would not know his character if they met on the street.
So I rang up a local building firm, I said \'I want a skip outside my house.\' He said \'I\'m not stopping you.\'
I heard someone tried the monkeys-on-typewriters bit trying for the plays of W. Shakespeare, but all they got was the collected works of Francis Bacon.
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
Object-oriented programming is a style of programming designed to teach students about stacks.
My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
A man can\'t be too careful in the choice of his enemies.
A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
University politics are vicious precisely because the stakes are so small.
A mind all logic is like a knife all blade. It makes the hand bleed that uses it.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
I think there is a world market for maybe five computers.
Build a man a fire, and he\'ll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he\'ll be warm for the rest of his life.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
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I do not consider it an insult, but rather a compliment to be called an agnostic. I do not pretend to know where many ignorant men are sure -- that is all that agnosticism means.
The worst crimes were dared by a few, willed by more and tolerated by all.
Throughout American history, the government has said we\'re in an unprecedented crisis and that we must live without civil liberties until the crisis is over. It\'s a hoax.
Ask her to wait a moment - I am almost done.
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I hear Glenn Hoddle has found God. That must have been one hell of a pass.
When the rich think about the poor, they have poor ideas.
If you are going through hell, keep going.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
It\'s strange, isn\'t it. You stand in the middle of a library and go \'aaaaagghhhh\' and everyone just stares at you. But you do the same thing on an aeroplane, and everyone joins in.
Let him who takes the Plunge remember to return it by Tuesday.
It is much more comfortable to be mad and know it, than to be sane and have one\'s doubts.
I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.
A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light
Too many pieces of music finish too long after the end.
Support your local Search and Rescue unit -- get lost.
A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the polls.
A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
Every journalist has a novel in him, which is an excellent place for it.
There is a charm about the forbidden that makes it unspeakably diserable.
Sex is like air. It\'s only a big deal if you can\'t get any.
I failed to make the chess team because of my height.
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.
To understand a man you should walk a mile in his shoes. If what he says still bothers you that\'s ok because you\'ll be a mile away from him and you\'ll have his shoes.
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If a man does his best, what else is there?
My last cow just died, so I won\'t need your bull anymore.
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Three o\'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do.
Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.
It\'s the liberal bias. The press is liberally biased to the right.
I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn\'t it.
I just bought a Mac to help me design the next Cray.
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
And the clueless shall spend their time reinventing the wheel while the elite merely use the Wordstar key mappings
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proven it correct, not tried it.
Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you walk into an open sewer and die.
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed.
An inconvenience is only an adventure wrongly considered; an adventure is an inconvenience rightly considered.
The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently
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I\'m always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can\'t understand is, if they don\'t know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
The best way to predict the future is to invent it.
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I\'ve never tried before.
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If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.
Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it
Whether you think that you can, or that you can\'t, you are usually right.
A terrorist is someone who has a bomb, but doesn\'t have an air force.
No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
Comedy is nothing more than tragedy deferred.
Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest.
In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But, in practice, there is.
If you can\'t get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you\'d best teach it to dance.
Sex is like a Chinese dinner. It isn\'t over until everyone gets their cookies.
As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
Men have become the tools of their tools.
One morning I shot a bear in my pajamas. How it got into my pajamas I\'ll never know.
Either he\'s dead or my watch has stopped.
I begin by taking. I shall find scholars later to demonstrate my perfect right.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don\'t need.
There\'s many a bestseller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.
Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake.
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If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
最終更新日 : 2012/01/16/(Mon) 15:26
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